?

Log in

No account? Create an account
 
 
30 September 2010 @ 03:28 pm
All the Difference in the World (Percy/Nico, PG)  
Percy/Nico . 793 words . PG . Coming out is still important, even if everyone already knows.

"I know, Percy," Rachel says, and there's a paint smear on her jaw that turns the corners of her wry grin into something comically sad. "You've been dating Nico for months."

He sighs because that's not the point. "But that's different. Or, it could be. I could be bi. That's what I'm trying to say, I'm not - bi, and I'm not straight. That's all." He stuffs his hands into his jean pockets and looks at his toes, wriggling in worn white socks.

"Percy," she says, and he looks up. "I was joking. I meant - I know. Maybe I've always known."

But then, she was the Oracle, he thought stubbornly. She knew everything.

+

"I know," Annabeth sighs, pushing her hair back behind her ear. "I might have been mostly a guy but I know it wasn't enough." Her words are brutally honest, the tiniest bit bitter - they aren't quite back to their old friendship but he feels more comfortable now than when they were dating. They'll get there, he thinks.

Her words, though, light up his face in a blush and he winces. "You're plenty girl, Annabeth," he murmurs.

"See, I'm supposed to take that as a compliment. But it's not." She sighs again - just the tiniest huff of breath - and he knows then what he should have known months ago. She does know. She's known for a long time. And she's wished, in her heart of hearts, that she could have been man enough for him.

He swallows and makes up some excuse and leaves the room, as fast as he can. Why is he always the last to realize these things?

+

"I know," his mother says, and he's almost expecting it this time.

He sighs loudly. "What gave it away? Annabeth going to prom in a tux?" There's a heavy load of sarcasm in his voice.

She laughs lightly and shakes her head. "No, not that, though it made me smile. I've known for a long time."

He gives her a suspicious look. "Longer than Annabeth?"

"Longer than you've known Annabeth."

That's a long time. He doesn't have any idea what to say to that. She takes the shirt he was folding out of his hands and shakes it out, pressing the fabric into a neat, flat bundle with two twists of her hands.

"Mothers know," she says, and he doesn't believe that either.

+

"What, really?"

Nico looks up from his PSP, and Percy had said it as a joke - sort of - at least, he was expecting some sort of snide remark, and they'd laugh it off and continue with their day. But there's honest surprise in Nico's voice, and he's paused his game, giving Percy his full, wide-eyed attention.

Percy feels his heart skip half a beat. "Uh, yeah," he says, almost nervously. "Really really. It isn't - " he cuts himself off with a pressed laugh, feeling his face go red. "Everyone else was being patronizing and telling me they knew like it was this big obvious thing, and I was like, how could you know? I only just figured it out myself."

He fully expects the joke now, the 'well we've been dating for how long?' but Nico's just looking at him, half calculating, half... warm. "I didn't know," he says, simply. "I thought - I guess I thought it wasn't an issue, you just liked who you liked. I kind of felt like the anomaly." Nico's eyes drop and he toys with the joystick on his game system, showing the nerves that Percy feels. "So it's - I'm glad you told me."

Percy feels like this huge weight lifts off of his chest, like he's finally said something important, that someone understands that he has a sexual orientation and it didn't really have much to do with who he was dating, or how long they'd been together, because it only just occurred to him that he was gay, really, and that he'd always been. That all of his life has maybe been leading to this, and that Nico isn't some genderless thing he loves, he's a guy and Percy isn't just okay with that, he fucking loves it.

And maybe everyone did already know that. Maybe it shouldn't've been a big deal. But it makes a difference anyway, having someone listen to him. Having someone believe him. It makes all the difference in the world.

if you liked this, you may like:
All Those Empty Spaces . Stop Thinking

 
 
 
littlelinor: lurvelittlelinor on September 30th, 2010 08:15 pm (UTC)
D'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW
That is my only comment to this fic.
Though the "longer than you've KNOWN Annabeth" made me smile.
neon footprint: girls like meneon_footprint on October 10th, 2010 07:16 pm (UTC)
You, with the being in my head, and stuff.

I always thought I just liked who I liked, and sure there have been girls, and there have been guys. But I realised about three or four months ago that I'm actually gay. Nobody cares, except me. But it still makes me smile that you get it <3
➵ she walks in starlight: stock / she's on fireigrab on October 10th, 2010 07:19 pm (UTC)
♥♥ yes, it's exactly how i feel too, and i was like HEY. HEY GUYS. HEY GUYS I'M GAY and no one cared. and i still constantly feel like i have to prove something.
neon footprint: we intertwined (knees)neon_footprint on October 10th, 2010 08:30 pm (UTC)
I feel a bit like that. I have fallen for a woman, a wonderful, beautiful, world ending woman. I don't understand how people can't see that loving her is fundamental to me.

Oh god, Ammie, I wish I could be sure of her feelings for me. If I had her, I could rest content.
pebbles in columns: PJO | BFFLs yoquiddative on October 10th, 2010 08:36 pm (UTC)
[wraps them up in a giant red bow and draws hearts all over them]

This was too adorable and made my day ♥
insomniac #7: in ur fandom slashing ur doodz }heyjessiex on October 11th, 2010 01:40 am (UTC)
D'AWWWWWWWWWWW

That was awesome. Percy/Nico is awesome.
Lira-chanlira_chan on October 11th, 2010 02:26 am (UTC)
Oh gosh, so ridiculously sweet, this is. I don't have much else to say. I just kind of want to squish Percy. <3
(Anonymous) on January 16th, 2011 08:29 am (UTC)
I love this. It's so poignant and truthful, and "some genderless thing he loves" has been sticking in my brain for like, two weeks since I first read this. It's amazing how little a person who's never had to self-identify realizes the enormity of the realization and telling people about who you are. The fact that Nico is the only person who really understands Percy's words is so telling and so beautiful.