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29 June 2009 @ 10:45 pm
A Day That Ends in Y [Shatnoy, NC-17]  
Title: A Day That Ends in Y
Author: igrab
Pairing: Shatnoy
Written For: trek_rpf_kink, for this prompt
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1,529
Summary: Road head. Bill is annoying and Leonard loves it.
Disclaimer: This didn't happen, duh.


"Left, Len, it says to turn left."

"Don't be ridiculous, Bill, that wasn't even a road."

"It was! It had a signpost and everything. You're just jealous."

Leonard Nimoy had long ago come to terms with the fact that Bill Shatner was totally unpredictable. He had crap reasoning, bad ideas, and even worse execution. Really, he was just sort of awful all around, which completely didn't explain why Leonard was ridiculously, madly in love with him.

"Fine. I'm jealous of your superior being-a-dick skills. Is that really where we were supposed to turn?"

There was a suspicious sort of silence, and Leonard couldn't help the way he smirked.

"I'll take that as a no."

"Just keep driving until I tell you," he grumbled, shaking the map a little.

Leonard was pretty sure that they were lost. They were supposed to have arrived approximately, oh, forever ago, and he had no idea where they were or how they were getting back. By all accounts, he should have been furious, or at least a little upset with the situation in general. He can't even bring himself to frown.

"Bill, nothing on that map is going to tell you where we are," he points out, gesturing with a hand and letting it settle on the clutch.

"I know where we are," he muttered mulishly. "We're..."

"...Halfway to San Diego. Where we're not supposed to be."

Bill pouted at him.

Leonard rolled his eyes. "Don't you dare give me that look. I'm not the navigator, here."

"Neither of us is. Where's Chekov?!" he called like the obnoxious man he was, but Leonard just laughed. It was funny, somehow, though if he was really Spock and Bill was really Kirk they'd never've ended up here in the first place. Spock would've done the legwork, and Kirk would be driving.

He was still thinking about that when he felt a kiss against his hand, and as such he had a rather Spock-like reaction, looking over and raising an eyebrow and very, very nearly saying 'Captain?' Which, really, was nothing he hadn't done before but usually they're still in costume. Or only half in costume, and half naked.

The map was... somewhere, pushed off to the side maybe, but Leonard was paying way more attention to the lips on his hand that were slowly migrating... up his arm... to his shoulder... and he kept driving in a straight line but managed to give Bill a very weirded-out look. "What are you doing?"

"Shh. I'm distracting you from my ineptitude. Eyes on the road, officer."

He blinked. "Yes, sir," he said, because there wasn't anything else to say, except for maybe, what the fuck.

Leonard Nimoy had sensitive hands. He was pretty sure that was how the whole Vulcan-hand-porn idea started, from that one night when he was tired and Bill was playful and he'd managed to get him off with nothing more than a mouth on his fingers. He only remembered that night vaguely, mostly just a haze of intense pleasure and being totally incapacitated, unable to respond to the sensation that that hot mouth was invoking. But that's where it had all started, he was sure, and though he forgot a lot of things sometimes, Bill never seemed to forget this one. Especially not at times like these - you know, when he really, really wanted him to.

He could have just pushed him off and told him to shut the fuck up; Bill would've listened. Maybe. But he was curious where he was going to take this. Was he really going to be able to distract him? Were they going to crash into a tree because of this? Well, there weren't any trees around, but that was beside the point. A rock, maybe. A-

His hand, the one he didn't need, the one that always rested comfortably on the gear shift, was now not on the gear shift. It was in Bill's hand, and his fingers were pressing right under the sensitive joints in the palm of his hand, and he was gasping without thinking.

"Bill-"

"Shh."

He was kissing his neck, now, hot little kisses that were just sultry enough to be a giant fucking tease. Bill's hands - stupid, uncoordinated hands that he logically should've hated just like the rest of him - were squeezing at the pads of his fingers, pressing down a little too hard, brushing a little too softly, and the goddamn impossibility of it all was what was turning him on.

He wasn't good at this. Leonard shouldn't like it.

He let his hand go and Leonard yanked it back, clenching both of them tight on the steering wheel and deliberately, forcefully focused on the empty stretch of road. He tried to calm down, to let up on the gas pedal, they were speeding something crazy - but then Bill's hands were unbuckling his belt and brushing up against him in all the wrong places and "What the goddamn hell are you doing, Bill, seriously."

And then he gave him that Look. That Look that he did with those big bright gold eyes, and a tiny little quirk of his mouth, and everything in his face that screamed I AM UNDRESSING YOU WITH MY EYES. BE NAKED AT ONCE. "Keep your eyes on the road, Leonard."

Oh, he was so going to strangle him for this. Hard. His hands tightened on the steering wheel as his lover ducked down, shoved all of his annoying clothes out of the way, and closed his lips right around the head of his cock. He didn't swerve but the car stuttered, jumped forward and he forced himself to calm the hell down, really, it was just a blowjob.

While he was going fucking 50 on a 35-mph road.

Calmdown calmdown calmdown, he swore at himself, trying desperately to ignore the way William Shatner's lips were inching down on his cock. Crawling, kind of, and it was too slow and too tight but he shuddered.

"Bill. I can't drive with my dick in your mouth," he growled, trying not to let his eyes close and keep watching the little yellow lines fly by.

Well, he can't reply with your dick in his mouth, he told himself, but maybe that'll make him stop.

Nope. Not happening. He heard him, oh of course he did, Leonard could tell from the way his tongue slid to cup the underside of his cock. Like it was laughing at him, laughing out of spite.

He let one hand leave the wheel and knotted it in Bill's hair, breathing shakily. He was moving with more purpose now, more purpose but no more skill, and this was going to drive him mad. Or he would hit that truck and they'd both die.

Then he slid up and did this stupid little licky thing over the head of his cock and Leonard snarled, jamming a foot on the brake. "Stop fucking around!!"

"Keep going," Bill murmured, and Leonard realized he was breathless. He never sounded like that, not unless he was really into it, and he was sucking cock like it was cruel torture, how could that be hot?

He tapped on the gas, regaining the speed he'd lost from their impromptu pause. Why am going along with this, he thought. Why the fucking hell am I even considering going along with this.

Then Bill slid his lips over his cock again and it was sultry-sweet, lavish, warm and hot and painfully, drastically pleasurable.

Oh, right. That's why.

He made sure to give the truck a wide berth to begin with, he really didn't want anyone hurt if he lost control at an inappropriate time. The left wheels slid off the road, jerking them down and Bill moved with it, letting the momentum thrust him in deeper. Leonard moaned like a hooker and grabbed for Bill's hair again, using one hand to get them back up onto the road.

But now there was no one there, no one to care if he swerved that much to the right or that much to the left because his lover was goddamn awful at blowjobs, but the motion of the car sure went a long way to convincing him otherwise.

And then he used his teeth and Leonard hated it when he did that - and he came.

"You are so bad at that," he muttered in a half-growl, half-gasp, watching Bill wipe the traces off his lips and lick them from his fingers.

"You love it," he countered with an easy smile, then flicked his stare forward. "Eyes on the road, Len."

And that was the problem, really. He did.
 
 
 
nightporters on June 30th, 2009 08:46 am (UTC)
Well, he can't reply with your dick in his mouth

Loved that line among many others. Sweet and hot.
➵ she walks in starlight: chris pine / oral fixationigrab on June 30th, 2009 09:55 am (UTC)
thank you! :D
screamlet!: snappyscreamlet on June 30th, 2009 08:55 am (UTC)
I AM UNDRESSING YOU WITH MY EYES. BE NAKED AT ONCE.

MOANED LIKE A HOOKER.

omfg I fucking love this. WILL READ AGAIN. SEVERAL TIMES OVER. You're amaaaaaazing. ♥
➵ she walks in starlight: intruder / looks at sheepigrab on June 30th, 2009 09:56 am (UTC)
|DDDDD thank you very, very much!

No but seriously. William Shatner looking like that makes me feel overdressed.
Improbable Girl: shatnoy on set MFWINstarcrossedgirl on June 30th, 2009 11:48 am (UTC)
This is awesome in so many ways. Their dynamic is down pat, the way the sex is totally realistic and non-perfect and yet so, so hot, and the you have lines like "moaned like a hooker" in there, and I think I died just a little.

LOVED THIS.
➵ she walks in starlight: shatnoy / ear kissesigrab on July 1st, 2009 12:20 am (UTC)
I totally forgot to comment back, since I had just woken up when I got the review. Thank you so much! It's really nice to hear people say I get their interaction good, because I still feel woefully inadequate to write about them. Oh well
The Art of Survival: Parisindiwise on June 30th, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)
LOVED THIS, TOO. For all of the above reasons and..more. Yes.
Someone, somewhere: Hugglekrzcowzgomoo on June 30th, 2009 03:48 pm (UTC)
YUM.
Queen of Spades: differentmonkiainen on June 30th, 2009 07:35 pm (UTC)
So.. YUM. So realistic and funny :D
(Deleted comment)
➵ she walks in starlight: trek: tos / <3<3<3igrab on June 30th, 2009 10:52 pm (UTC)
that's because you were away for SO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG *cries forever*
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 1st, 2009 12:14 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:15 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 1st, 2009 12:19 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:20 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 1st, 2009 12:21 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:23 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 1st, 2009 12:24 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:25 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 1st, 2009 12:29 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 1st, 2009 12:26 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 9th, 2009 06:56 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 9th, 2009 07:54 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 9th, 2009 08:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 9th, 2009 08:02 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 9th, 2009 08:03 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - obstinatrix on July 9th, 2009 08:04 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 9th, 2009 08:05 am (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:01 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 6th, 2009 11:12 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:13 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 6th, 2009 11:20 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:21 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 6th, 2009 11:31 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 7th, 2009 04:34 am (UTC) (Expand)
almost certainly thinking about William Shatner: kirk/spockmy_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:02 pm (UTC)
I continue think it's hilarious that we all think Bill is annoying, Leonard is annoyed, and they love it. We love it. It's also funny how it mirrors K/S, only if anything more weirdly extreme because Bill doesn't have the luxury of always being right that Kirk does. We've stripped away the heroic and kept the ridiculous (which is what Shatner contributed, brilliantly, to Kirk) and we love it.

Sort of off-topic, but that amuses me so much.

I love how Leonard is convinced he hates Bill, and everything about him, but it's so fond. And is convinced Bill sucks at giving head, when, you know, evidence might point otherwise.

I think "Bill. I can't drive with my dick in your mouth," is the best think Leonard Nimoy's never said.
➵ she walks in starlight: shatnoy / bamfigrab on July 6th, 2009 11:10 pm (UTC)
*giggling madly* We're so awful. But I'm completely convinced that the two of them would think all of these fics were hilarious and brilliant.

He has to keep saying he's awful at it so he can keep bitching. I need to write a fic specifically where Bill falls in love a little more every time Leonard bitches at him.
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:11 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 6th, 2009 11:18 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - igrab on July 6th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(no subject) - my_daroga on July 6th, 2009 11:19 pm (UTC) (Expand)
marymonroemarymonroe on July 13th, 2009 07:12 am (UTC)
He was still thinking about that when he felt a kiss against his hand, and as such he had a rather Spock-like reaction, looking over and raising an eyebrow and very, very nearly saying 'Captain?'

Loooool. If only that had happened in the series :-D Loved this fic.
bow chicka bow wowsmutjunkie on September 27th, 2009 08:06 pm (UTC)
My Shatnoy cherry. You just popped it.

Hook, line, sinker. *scurries off to find more*
➵ she walks in starlightigrab on September 27th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC)
oh lawd, seriously? XDDDD i feel proud. ONE OF UUUUS.

BTW GIRL YOU NEED TO GET A TWITTER. so i can talk to you until my computer gets back, auuuuugh lack of computer!! and you can hear all about my unexciting escapades.
N i k k i: Spock and Kirkrockinhamburger on October 20th, 2009 03:06 pm (UTC)
This is such a kink of mine. Blowjobs while driving! So dangerous! So rushed! So hot!

Loved this. I especially loved that Leonard came from Bill doing something he apparently doesn't like. Just says such wonderful things about how he cares for Bill, and what that does to Leonard's sexual attraction to him.

I love you fic. A lot.
Rhaegalrhaegal on November 22nd, 2009 02:11 pm (UTC)
"Bill. I can't drive with my dick in your mouth."

I have a question: why does every single fic not contain this line? This is something that needs to change.

Also, yes, this was incredibly hot, and I am utterly in love with the adorable snarking.